Jokes about aging

Let’s face it, none of us are here forever.  So my philosophy is to do what I can with what I’ve got, and not to take life too seriously.

I hope you like my jokes about aging – if you do please contact  me to tell me so.

If you don’t, try this site.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
 
P.G. Wodehouse

At my age, flowers scare me.

George Burns

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

Father-And-Son- Jokes

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Rodney Dangerfield

Listen To Your Doctor


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.'”..ooh!

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

Claude Pepper

Getting older is like being on a roller coaster.

There are highs, lows, laughter and tears.

And sometimes you  may pee your pants a little

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

Claude Pepper