Jokes about aging

Let’s face it, none of us are here forever.  So my philosophy is to do what I can with what I’ve got, and not to take life too seriously.

I hope you like my jokes about aging – if you do please contact  me to tell me so.

If you don’t, try this site.

Listen carefully

An elderly gentleman has serious hearing problems for years.  He finally went to the Doctor, and the Doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

 

The elderly gentleman went back to the Doctor a month after he had been fitted.  The Doctor said “your hearing is perfect, your family must be really pleased that you can hear again!.

 

The gentleman replied “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet, I just sit around and listen to their conversations.  I’ve changed my will three times!”

Anon

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
 
P.G. Wodehouse

At my age, flowers scare me.

George Burns

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

Father-And-Son- Jokes

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

Claude Pepper

Getting older is like being on a roller coaster.

There are highs, lows, laughter and tears.

And sometimes you  may pee your pants a little

Anon

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.”

Woody Allen

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Rodney Dangerfield

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

Anon

So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

George Carlin

You might like my joke about tractors

Remember – laughing can make you live longer. 
And if it doesn’t, you’ll have a better time while you’re here.

Some visual jokes about aging and elder life